so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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