oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize