a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize