that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
its liver damage thursday
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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