she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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