It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I need water and some morals
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize