dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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