No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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