It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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