At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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