Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize