1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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