it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize