just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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