apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize