yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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