I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize