I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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