At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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