i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize