Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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