just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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