Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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