Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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