I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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