I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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