i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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