On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
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He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize