GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize