Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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