Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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