ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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