So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
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Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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