Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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