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Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
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