I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize