oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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