i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize