I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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