I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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