take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize