i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize