I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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