Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize