I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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