the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize