I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
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I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
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Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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