I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize