with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
this is an emotional support booty call
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize