I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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